Everything was perfect, and I've never done anything that could remotely be considered since. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. It's OCD, 100%. Relationships are not black and white, and you were certainly in a grey area with your situation. Since I stopped using the fake profile I’ve been seeing a therapist (for CBT and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, to help with my OCD/Anxiety and to help me act on my values not my fears) and a counsellor too. Hi Reddit. However, OCD treatment is difficult, and that is one of the main reasons some stay away from treatment. The idea that someone has been hurt by my actions is very troubling to me and I wish I could back and stop myself from behaving in this way. My obsession right now is of a real event. Location: Midlands. I realise this might sound like I'm searching for reassurance and I know that's counter productive, but I just felt like I needed to get my thoughts down on paper (so to speak) and try and work out how the hell I go forward. I can’t tell if the level of guilt I’m feeling is real event ocd or if this just what I deserve to be feeling. I can’t tell you how to deal with it in relation to talking your partner, but I would seek help if you haven’t already. If this is ocd I can talk to my therapist but if this isn’t ocd what do I do? I just wanted someone else's thoughts on this. Whenever I create a scenario in my head, it turns into a “memory” minutes, hours or days later. or is that one of those things where I might never know and should move on? This post has been thanked 2 times. I can't remember what they looked like, or how it even happened, but this memory is seated into my brain. Usually several posts a day on here about it. Thank you for this reply, some very helpful concepts here. This post has been thanked 3 times. Instead, react with indifference and allow the thoughts to just be there. Hi, The past 6 months I’ve had extreme cheating ocd, so I can totally relate to what you’re going through. The length of time between the event occurring and the start of the intrusive thoughts is no indicator that the thoughts are true. Forum User. The next morning I remembered it and acknowledged it had happened but for some reason at the time, I didn't feel guilty. The therapist is there to help you untangle and alleviate any worries you may have. I’m trying to stop watching porn and have been reconnecting with my Christian faith. New to forum and I had a unstable upbringing which has left me with some memories of things that happens to be and the silly things I regret doing as a young lad. Hi, you absolutely deserve forgiveness. Is there any hope of real help for them? I can’t tell if the level of guilt I’m feeling is real event ocd or if this just what I deserve to be feeling. Even though I didn’t blackmail or share the nudes/chats anywhere, I feel disgusting and deeply regret that I’ve lied to people to even have those conversations in the first place. I’ll start therapy next month. Thanks: 28. Do you have any tips on how to build self-compassion? OCD is often called the 'doubting disease' because deep down, the sufferer knows the thoughts are irrational. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Because I was consuming all of this human waste, I … Intrusive thoughts are always an OCD lie. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The sufferer of this theme could start experiencing intrusive thoughts that they’ve cheated just hours after the event or days, weeks, months, years later. It’s something you’d rather not deal with, but you would be absolutely fine. Even if you cheated in your relationship right now, it doesn’t make you a bad person. Check them out! I suffer from OCD symptoms and have been diagnosed with anxiety. OCD can also be triggered by a traumatic event, and there’s likely to be a genetic component, too. In general, I just don’t know if this ocd. I can't get the thought out of my mind that this wasn't ok and I've been a terrible person by not owning up to this mistake. Re: Possible Real Event OCD and Crushing Guilt by throwaway5487 » Sat Dec 24, 2016 3:29 pm So, the way I should see this is that a normal response to this would be "wow, that's a really uncomfortable memory of a time where I did something gross and totally inappropriate. When I’ve made previous posts on other subreddits people have told me to forgive myself, that my behaviour wasn’t right but it’s okay to move on and be better in the future. I feel sick. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. Forum User . Ways of thinking that helped me: realise that I had this image of my relationship needing to be “pure”. Real event OCD, petrified of being arrested So it's hardly something I'm proud of, but when I was a teenager I had something of a hentai phase and a few times I looked at loli/shota. PAST REAL EVENT OCD. I wanted to be invisible but I also wanted to talk to men (it’s pathetic, I know). I know that the right way to deal with real-event OCD is probably the same like for all the other forms of OCD, I just think it is very helpful to read articles like this one above and the fact that i can´t really find any other information beside this article makes me feel quite helpless. 14 February 2018 - 14:36. So I've been locked in a cycle of anxiety, googling for advice and reassurance for days now, the guilt is overwhelming me. Our relationship has been going brilliantly, and this hadn't bothered me. I didn't tell anyone apart from one of my friends on the holiday who said 'I didn't see anything happen'. So in short, I'm really struggling with this, can anyone relate? My Real-Event OCD is eating me alive. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I’ve been suicidal over this and it’s really made me question a lot of things about myself. 17 May 2016 - 12:37. I liked her, I would never want to hurt her, but I did this stupid thing. A subreddit dedicated to discussion, articles, and images regarding OCD. Basically, on and off for about 18 months I used a fake profile and face photos from the internet to talk to men on Grindr. I was almost blackout drunk, in a nightclub, and have this memory of a few seconds of kissing someone on the dancefloor. Cheating OCD often comes about after a night of drinking. It's like a constant circle of negativity and low self-esteem. It conjures up memories of something that you did which was “bad” and plays this memory over and over in your head. Thankfully, he didn’t think I’d acted on any of these thoughts, or that I would, or that I was insane. Then, in October 2018 I was on holiday with some friends when 'the incident' happened. Press J to jump to the feed. Still, this therapist was not an expert in OCD, particularly the more subtle kind I had. US: 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741, Non-US: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines. Source: http://www.ocdspecialists.com/real-event-ocd/ On a side note, www.ocdspecialists.com is a great resource for learning about OCD! Previous relationship experiences, such as being cheated on in the past, may also be a trigger, but it's not the ultimate cause of ROCD. Please read below for more information and resources about about OCD and what this subreddit is! When I’ve made previous posts on other subreddits people have told me to forgive myself, that my behaviour wasn’t right but it’s okay to move on and be better in the future. Hope you enjoy! Is this my OCD blowing things out of proportion or have I really f**ked up and need to come clean? All I ever do anymore is sit around and think about the kind of person I have been. And worst of all, I have been hiding it from her for two years. I hope you can spare a minute to have a read through this and any help would be much appreciated. I know it's difficult but you deserve and need it. I have a good group of supportive friends. I realise this might sound like I'm searching for reassurance and I know that's counter productive, but I just felt like I needed to get my thoughts down on paper (so to speak) and try and work out how the hell I go forward. Of course. I stopped using this fake profile and deleted all accounts/chats/photos in September. I am completely in love with her and we have been in a relationship since May 2019. However, I unsure how to atone and make up for what I did. A subreddit dedicated to discussion, articles, and images regarding OCD. 18 May 2016 - 18:58 . Genetics was found to account for around 40 per cent of the variance in OCD … What does accountability look like for someone in my shoes - what is the right thing to do. It’s horrendous! Need others thoughts please . https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines. The justification that I 'got away with it' because we weren't in an official relationship just isn't holding up anymore. xmesq. Abbreviated backstory: Basically my Real event OCD came because of the guilt i acquired from two indiscretions in my relationship (i made out with two people who were not my partner). spoiler nsfw. Actions do not affect your value as a person. What it has settled into is real event OCD, which was so distressing to me I sought help and was diagnosed in 2019, went through some therapy and managed to overcome and achieve what really did feel like recovery. But the guilt and realisation of what I was doing really hit in late October and has been severe since then. Please help. i don't know if i can accept not thinking about it without feeling bad. I've since learnt that possession of it is illegal in my country (UK) and my OCD has me convinced that I'm going to be arrested and listed as a sex offender and my life will be ruined. But that all changed two weeks ago. Me included. I am also a catfish. I can't let go of my shame. Real event / cheating OCD. Thanks: 2. I deeply regret that I’ve violated people like this - lying to them and deceiving them, especially because of the sexual nature of the chats. Right now it feels like even attempting to be compassionate with myself is taking away from what I did. Please read below for more information and resources about about OCD and what this subreddit is! I blocked everyone very quickly - often after a few hours, the longest was probably around a week. I am obsessed with the fact that I might have cheated on my girlfriend, and I can't live with the guilt. When its not Real Event OCD its the What If/Fill in the blanks OCD. I was bullied in high school because of being gay. Log in to Reply. TL;DR - memories that I drunkenly kissed someone else in the early stages of a then-as-yet unofficial relationship - now feeling extreme guilt and obsessions + compulsions to confess. Sure I regretted doing it as I really didn't understand why I did it, it's not the sort of thing I intended or even wanted to do, but I wasn't technically in a relationship. I was friends with this girl who manipulated me, but at the time I didn’t know as I was new in a job. A couple of weeks later i talked to my now girlfriend about 'where we were' and she stated that she just wanted to keep things casual, not put any labels on it, and 'keep the status quo'. Wanted to ask for some help/insight/guidance as real event OCD and rumination is dominating my whole life. Things got pretty serious in the months after this but she reaffirmed in March-ish 2019 that she still didn't want to be in an official relationship. Join date: Jan 2018. The chats were often sexual, but I never shared any photos or chats with anyone else. Happy to answer questions if this didn't make sense. Hope this helped! However we had our first date in June 2018, and spent the best part of a year in the kind of 'casual, not labeling this, taking it slow' kind of stage. Join date: May 2016. Cookies help us deliver our Services. But I feel like I need punishment and like I don’t deserve a second chance at being a good person. I still sometimes have false memories and panic attacks over whether I cheated in the early stages of my relationship, which sounds like what’s happening. One particular event from my past has come back to haunt me big time and I'm back in at the deep end. Today i found out that Real event OCD is a thing! Learn more about relationship OCD symptoms and treatment. A 2011 meta-analysis looked at 14 separate studies involving identical and non-identical twins, designed to tease apart the relative contribution of genetic and environmental factors in someone developing OCD. I know I can’t change the past, but I want to be better in the future and not behave like this again. It is such a grey area (OCD latches on to these) and a topic that is so emotionally charged and guilt-ridden that it just dominates. OCD reached a whole new level recently. When these intrusive memories come up, you feel a gut-punching sensation of intense guilt. Join date: May 2016. Something that happened about 6 years ago which at the time I didn't think twice about. That even if explicit cheating has occurred, many relationships can and do survive! For background, I (M, 27) have struggled with OCD in various forms for the past 10 years, from the more 'magical thinking', to the existential, harm/self-harm, pOCD, hOCD, you name it. Roy21. :). Hey guys, I’m Kevin, I’m 23 years old and I’m suffering from OCD. The nudes I sent were my real ones. I’m just very confused as to whether the level of guilt is created by real event ocd, reassurance seeking: what I’m doing right now and seeking out support from my counsellor and therapist, Rumination: thinking constantly about everything even minutely related to this, Obsession with confessing or the idea of confessing, Feeling guilty for not feeling guilty about this. Or do I need to say something to her as it's the right thing to do? I never intended to cause harm or violate anyone - but I now know that’s exactly what I’ve done since the harm was in my lying and deceiving. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. There are so many variations of OCD: hit-and-run OCD, harm OCD, and real event OCD, to name a few. I feel like the only way I can overcome this is by coming clean to her, but I can't bear the thought of hurting her (another of my OCD themes from the past) or ruining what we have. There’s still wrong been caused by actions even if the people didn’t realise they were being catfished. I'll be better some days than others and then it'll come back full force. Hi . I am relieved but it doesnt help much, its just nice to be able to specifically know what i am suffering from. I also don’t know where to go from here? I am in my early 20s, I am gay and was raised very Christian. Real event OCD can be insidious because along with anxious thoughts and feelings, it also presents with pervasive feelings of guilt and shame about something which you did in the past. Is it just my OCD saying that I don't feel like I should be allowed to 'get away with it' as I need to be punished? Step 2: Do not react to any of the Cheating OCD thoughts with fear. He did help me, but it was clear he didn’t know how to fully treat these kinds of thoughts. Your fearful reaction is what powers up these thoughts and makes OCD stronger. But he didn’t know what else to do, and ultimately my first round of therapy sputtered out. Relationship OCD symptoms sometimes intensify when relationships undergo transitions. Thanks: 8. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. The good news, however, is the treatment is the same no matter what type of OCD you have. Re: Real Event OCD & Guilt by throwaway5487 » Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:22 pm but did I molest my sibling somehow? Real Event OCD? And it's fine to regret it and feel guilt - but if it's this strong, it's OCD. I’ve been suicidal over this and it’s really made me question a lot of things about myself. Hi Reddit. I’m struggling with real event OCD, I have been diagnosed with OCD. For example, events that may be associated with an exacerbation of ROCD symptoms include committing to an exclusive dating relationship, having sex or being intimate, getting … Press J to jump to the feed. Relationship OCD is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder that causes frequent and disruptive uncertainty and anxiety in relationships. Despite some minor set backs, I thought I was done. It tears me up inside and I can't let go of these thoughts at all. Real event is one of the most common ocd themes. Real event OCD regrets is it the same as intrusive thinking. My sexual past stems from my warped up views of lust and I would recommend anybody that excessively masturbates and can't control it to please stop. Forum User. Try to build some self-compassion. Treatment for OCD. I was into her from the start and to me, it felt quite intimate and I never had eyes for anyone else. We eventually agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend in May 2019. If you feel comfortable, talking to your therapist may help to shed some light on the Real Event OCD you are experiencing. Cancel culture and all that is massively triggering and is "in vogue" at the moment so it's very toxic environment for ocd sufferers with this theme. There are many people out there who have done things they regret a lot. I used the fake profiles because I didn’t want to be found out as gay or have my face connected to my nudes. A requested video from the comments section of an older vid about real event OCD. Am I using OCD as an excuse or do I deserve the guilt/shame that I'm feeling? 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